Back to School Anxiety

Back to school time is dear to me, not just because the thought of a cool breeze and fall decorations warms my heart (and it does😊) but because for me, as a counselor, so many years have been devoted to helping children adjust to the beginning of the school year.  This included navigating back to school jitters, making new friends, getting organized in new classes, and managing separation anxiety.  But this year feels different for all of us.  There are many new challenges and changes that children must adjust to as they return to school after several months away from their school campuses.  This article offers some ideas and thoughts for helping children who experience anxiety as school gets back in session. 

Backpacks, lunch kits, and masks…Oh My! –  Often a change in routine can feel scary to children and adolescents. As we add new safety precautions such as hand sanitizer and masks to our children’s school supply lists, we may observe an unsettled feeling in our children. 

A mask brings peace of mind to many of us.  A mask is a necessity to help keep our children and their teachers safe and healthy.  Wearing masks and seeing our friends and teachers in a mask rather than the comfort of a smiling face is new to all of us.  We can help our children learn other helpful ways of communicating. 

Remind children that it is important to use their words to explain what they need or how they are feeling, especially because children can’t see the expressions on each other’s faces.  Kindness and patience will be important as children adjust to friends’ and teachers’ hidden smiles.

Prepare – As school approaches, outings with your children can become teachable moments.  Have conversations that may normally go unsaid.  For example, when on a walk or running errands take a few moments to say – “It feels different to see people wearing masks while they walk or shop.  I miss seeing people smile, but I sure am glad everyone is wearing a mask because that helps us stay healthy and safe.”  This models for children that we are aware of this different time, but also reminds them that right now it is especially important to stay safe.  This also teaches children to notice the big picture.  It is okay to miss seeing a smile on our friend’s or teacher’s face, but it is important to remember their mask is a gesture of kindness and consideration because they are limiting the spread of germs and trying to keep us all safe.

Remember, children are resilient!  Our family gathered for a picture recently, and we laughed because we noticed we were all prepared with smiles – hidden behind our masks.  As we reminded each other that we did not need to smile one of my kiddos said, “Mom, we should smile.  It makes us feel good and it shows in our eyes.”  So true!

Shift your perspective – Look at things with the perspective that the glass is half full. Remind children that the changes in their school day are an effort to protect them and slow the spread of the virus.  For example, share with your child, “It is so great that our school is trying to keep us safe by having us wear masks or ____________ (fill in the blank with changes happening at your child’s school).”  

Listen – Help children become mindful of their thoughts.  It is okay for your child to feel many different feelings including being nervous or afraid.  Talk to your child about their feelings.  Provide opportunities to share the happenings of their day.  This can be done as a family or in one on one conversation with your child.  Conversation starters such as the favorite and least favorite part of their day may provide insight into your child’s feelings. This is an unknown time for all of us.  Help your children and adolescents know that the anxious feelings they are experiencing in their body is their body trying to keep them safe, the fight or flight response.  In this pandemic we may all be experiencing different forms of anxiety.

The fight or flight response is a result of anxiety or a perceived danger/threat.  It can be helpful to teach children and adolescents techniques to calm their body’s anxiety response.  (Check out the prior article titled, “PAWS and Reflect” for great techniques for present moment awareness.) Meditation and yoga are also great options to encourage techniques for calming an anxious body and mind.  (Take a look at Be Well NOLA’s Yoga and Mindfulness page and Yoga at Sprout!)

Gratitude goes a long way – Some thankful thoughts throughout the day help to keep the blues away! 😊  Begin a habit of gratitude.  Reflect on positive experiences throughout the day. Journal as a family or create a gratitude jar that each family member can add to and then share the entries at a time when you are all together as a family.  What a great opportunity to have some family time while nourishing a spirit of thankfulness! Gratitude journals can also be done in a personal journal.  Focusing on things that we feel thankful for can help us notice the good things happening in our day.  Simple prompts can be: Something that made me smile?  Something kind I did for others?

Lastly, take one moment at a time and be kind, patient, and compassionate with yourself and others.  These changes are new to all of us.  It is important to be kind to yourself if you are feeling out of sorts.  We are all working to stay safe and healthy and find a new normal.

Be Well, Dr. Hernandez